It hit me like a car crash today when my mom said "Don't worry, you just have to live through it 'till next Friday."

Holy shit. Next Friday.

I've tried my best to live every day of my senior year with full awareness. I've heard it from every graduate... "Enjoy it while it lasts, it goes by so quickly." And, up until now, it was the exact opposite. Up until now, I was barely dragging through what I felt like was the longest and slowest and worst year of my life.

Until now.

Now, I feel like I've been asleep for a year. I feel like I've wasted every minute that was shoved under my ignorant little nose. I feel like I'm digging my heels in the ground, thrusting my arms out, trying to force time from pushing me forward. It's pathetic.

I don't know why it couldn't have been a gradual thing, what with all the graduation party invites and talks about college and finals. Hell, I'd even received my cap and gown without even giving it a second thought. It seemed months away then.

But no. Next Friday.

I'm sure this week will go by in a blur, even though I have a few more things to endure. Still, that's not going to stop me from trying to slow it down.

Don't get me wrong, now, please. I don't want anyone under the impression that I actually enjoy this school. It isn't my memories of school that I'm trying to preserve.

Actually, I'm not quite sure what I'm trying to preserve at this point. I just feel like this thing I've been preparing for my whole life-- I was even under the delusion that I was ready for it; whatever, no big deal, I have plenty of time to think about it later-- just punched me in the face.

It doesn't help that I still have finals to finish. It doesn't help that I got sick this weekend and missed when I was SUPPOSED to take my calc final. It also doesn't help that I whittled this entire weekend away by reading the entire Twilight series for the first time (not that I regret it... finishing a 400-something page book in under twelve hours was exhilerating; I just couldn't have chosen a worse time to discover the books).

At least now that I've read the whole series, looked at every movie still I could find, and read as many Twilight-related forums as I could handle, I can try to concentrate on living through the rest of my high school career. 

So basically, today's epiphany led to two important points:

As much as you try to slow time down, it won't.

And...

Don't read Twilight the week of your finals. Those books need warning labels.